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You wouldn`t believe all the cool stuff I find when I`m under my bed playing.
Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Women are always complaining that men are messy by leaving clothes layin around…..That’s because women take up all the closets
I was sad, because I had no shoes. Until I met a man that had no feet. So, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan`t using them anyway!
I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won`t have to talk to them.
I`m great in bed....i can sleep for days.
A communist joke isn`t funny unless everyone gets it.
The wifi going down on me is the most action I`m going to get tonight.
Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
I`m not afraid of identity theft. Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my dad call you a failure.
You know you`re an alcoholic when the only Holiday cards that you get are from your neighborhood pubs.
The only way to communicate with a drunk person is to get hammered too.
When one door closes it`s probably because someone shut it.
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.
Why do people walk by and say "Hi, how are you?" but they don`t stop long enough for you to reply!