Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
Don`t rush me. I`m waiting for the last minute.
Laugh now because when I die, I`m coming back to haunt you.
If it wasn’t for caffeine I wouldn’t be a functioning member of society.
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the "Like" button.
Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. A broken heart makes you wiser. And alcohol makes you not remember any of that sh!t.
When she says she`s madly in love with you, concentrate more on the word madness.
I answered the door in my underwear. That WAS the tip, pizza guy!
If you had to choose between your girlfriend or GTA 5 which character would you play as first?
Whenever my son questions my knowledge on any subject, I just remind him that I`m older than the Internet.
Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye after you hit send.
Getting my kids to the airport always feels like I`m recreating the first 10 minutes of "Home Alone."
I have a PHD (Pretty Huge d*ck)
Isn’t it funny how people that talk too much also have annoying voices?
I do what I want, when I want, where I want.. if my mom says its ok. :)