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How do they put the "do not walk on the grass" signs up?
Detective: “The victim musta had company. There’s 2 dirty plates in the sink.” If I ever get murdered they’ll think I had 16 people over.
Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.
I`m still kinda pissed that they never did tell us how to get to sesame street
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
Dude, I can`t post AND know when the light turns green. I`m pretty, not magical.
"Karate" is an old Japanese word that means, "My kid can`t hit a baseball."
I`m outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios.
I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked.
Glad McDonald`s don`t serve hotdogs, I don`t think I could order a McWeiner with a straight face.
Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
I eat boiled eggs, cabbage, and baked beans before the in-laws visit. They never stay long.
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.
Played Naked Twister last night and man, did it get RAUNCHY!....I can`t imagine what it would be like with other people.
If you really can make $10,000 a month working from home why would anyone take the harder job of nailing those signs to trees?