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What number SPF blocks people?
why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
Friend told me that on her strict new diet, she eats each meal naked in front of a mirror. I said would you like to come over for dinner?
My favorite iOS7 feature is how it distracts me from the fact that I`m wasting my life poking a glass screen.
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", has obviously never been to a nude beach
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions Note to self...avoid good intentions at all costs.
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
Unless your kids fundraiser is selling whisley, I`m not really interested
i just peed so hard that I laughed a little bit
The guy who used to proofread Hitler`s speeches was the first grammar Nazi.
I wouldn’t say your ugly, you are just beautichallenged.
By the time I’ve said “Nice to meet you” I’ve already forgotten your name.
Pretty sure one of my ex-girlfriends added the, "are you still listening?" feature on Pandora.
Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling