Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Have you heard about the new movie called constipation? It hasn`t come out yet.
The part of "no" that I donΒ΄t understand is the part where I donΒ΄t get what I want
I am not bossy, I just know how to do things the right way.
20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the β€œbad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.
People who drive under the speed limit are probably the same people who drink decaf.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
I couldn`t help but notice that I would like to have sex with you more frequently!
Most kids today wont understand the joy of playing with the telephone cord.
Someone’s going to ruin things; it might as well be me.
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married, right?
The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.
is experiencing life at a rate of several wtfΒ΄s a minute
So how many pokes does it take before its considered a heavy petting?
Sorry, Sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours
I`m ABSOLUTELY positive I`d accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber.