Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Having a contest with my couch and my washing machine to see who has more money. So far I`m in 3rd.
I`m not much on seizing the day, I just kinda poke it with a stick.
Actually baby, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend
I believe in equality. If we have five days of work, then we should have five day weekends as well.
Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! -Librarians arguing
This post is just for you.
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...
My co workers put cookies on my desk, like they`re leaving a sacrifice for an angry god.
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
I just saw a guy take a bite of Kit Kat bar without breaking it apart first! Sir, we live in a society with rules, please adhere to them.
The pollen is so bad this year that the trailer park people are changing crystal meth back into Sudafed.
My coworkers are looking at me like they`ve never seen anyone tailgate before work.
My therapist keeps saying that I should really stop talking to inanimate objects.....but he`s a lamp...what does he know....
Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
I can always tell when I`m drunk. I tend to drop things...like my standards