Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My New Year`s resolution for 2014 is to do something about my procrastination.
Don`t rush me. I`m waiting for the last minute.
I might be a day late and a dollar short, but it is still my personal best.
I bet Hell is sitting in front of every person you know while a slideshow of all of your deleted selfies is played on a loop.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
It may look like I`m doing nothing, but I`m actively waiting for my problems to go away.
Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
You could`ve told me that wasn`t your real name before I got the tattoo.
So I`m giving up drinking. Hard liquor. On Wednesdays. In June. Next year. (Maybe.)
To the teenager that flipped me off for honking at you. Your phone is on top of your car.
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
Vampire selfies are just phones floating in front of bathroom mirrors.
Turns out, I`m not an afternoon person either...
I do this thing called "Whatever The F*ck I Want".
Never marry a tennis player " love means nothing to them "