Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Memory foam pillow fights". That`s one fight you`ll never forget.
So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually dont have one
Unwritten Rule of the Day: Don´t make eye contact while eating a banana.
I was admiring my six pack in the mirror for two hours,then it got cold and I put it in the fridge
This year, I`m thankful for all the people that included me in their mass texts wishing me a "Happy Thanksgiving," now I know which numbers to block when Christmas comes around.
My daughter asked me why I carry a gun inside the house. I told her I was scared of the CIA. She laughed. I laughed. Amazon Echo laughed.
The best part about being over 40 is we did most of our stupid stuff before the internet.
is here. Now what are your other two wishes?
Cops are allowed to tell women they have the right to remain silent, but when I do it I wind up with a fork in my leg.
Some people pass through our lives just to teach us not to be like them.
I`ve been waiting all winter to complain about the summer heat
There is no better sunscreen than sitting in a bar.
at my age, the best part of waking up is the fact that I did wake up
Only 3 more days until millions of people join the gym for a week.