Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can stop lifting weights now; it’s actually your personality that nobody likes.
Once again, I`m a distant runner-up for TIME magazine`s `Person Of The Year`. I`m beginning to think it`s rigged...
When I`m really bored at work I like to write "I`m watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.
Proof that getting kicked in the nuts is worse than giving birth. Girls often say, yeah I`d have another baby. Guys never ask to get kicked in the nuts again.
I just saw a woman getting into a car the wrong way ... Through the driver’s door.
Apparently some strangers don’t need a hug.
I`m not lazy, I just rest before I get tired
Don`t think I didn`t notice that you deleted your status when no one Liked it.
Facebook`s list of "suggested friends" is quite literally a list of people I`ve been avoiding my entire life.
It’s always a special moment when you finally get to hear those three words you’ve been waiting for……. “Your order’s ready.”
Thinking " What would happen if the whole world farted at once and a person lit a lighter?"
If you try to fail but you succeed which have you done?
I really would love to see two mimes arguing
At least a stalker is there for you.
I Don`t Care If you Don`t Like Me .. Iam Not A Facebook Status :D