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Oh, I have an idea!!..oh wait, no I don`t
Rapper; "I`m killing them snitches, smacking then bitches, smokin blunts and f*ckin hoes!" *wins award* Rapper: "I just wanna thank god.."
I`m surprised more killers haven`t lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial
My life coach is the cashier at the liquor store.
My Hamster passed today, he fell asleep at the wheel.
We have GPS that can navigate you across the country. Why can`t someone invent a device that can remind you why you went into a room?
I wish I drove a Volkswagen bug. It would be cool to know that every time I drove by a school bus, some kid was getting punched.
If relationship breakups never existed, the music industry would go Bankrupt !
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
I`m no expert, but I`m pretty sure a lot of economic problems could be solved by extending the McDonald`s breakfast menu back out to 11am.
Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break they’re bones. They have over 200 of them.
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble, people, respect it!
I decided to bury the hatchet with that neighbor I never got along with. After all, it is the murder weapon.
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??
Stop leaving me messages. If I ever wanted to talk to you again, I wouldn’t have borrowed all that money.