Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If gas prices keep going up I`m cutting off the bottom of my car and I`m "Flintstoning" That mf!
Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business" always be followed by, "but"?
People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.
Right before I die, my last words will be, "I left a million dollars in the........
went to see the conjuring, and now there`s 10 crosses, four bibles, and a poster of Chuck Norris in my room.
Dear New Years Resolutions People; You don`t have to wait for the New Year to get your sh*t together and become a better person.
Eat whatever you want,and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight ...Eat them too..!
Freak people out in public restrooms by saying “come in” when they knock on the stall door.
Mom: You haven`t moved since I left 5 hours ago? Me: Excuse me, where do you think these chips came from!!???
Do you remember that creepy guy who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!
I sure did waste a lot of time as a kid practicing my autograph.
The last time I saw something as ugly as your face I pinned a tail on it.
Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
You know how sometimes as you fall asleep your whole body jolts you awake? That`s a ghost finishing sex with you.
The Eskimo´s allegedly have 52 words for snow. I have several words for snow also!