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My daughter just explained to me that these dinner postings were not real invites. I have to apologize to all my friends out there for showing up last week.
Every woman in this world is beautiful...........except for the ugly ones!
NEVER go to a wet t shirt contest drunk. I won 2nd place.
I’m tired of things costing money.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
Every fork at your favorite restaurant has been in 100`s of strangers` mouths
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
Its amazing how much more tolerable thanksgiving with the family becomes after the 5th cocktail…
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
My life is a very complicated drinking game
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.
Crayons are a lot like M & M`s, all the colors taste the same.
Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Do you wanna drink about it?
is procastinating now. Don´t see why I should put it off.
You must be a parking ticket or something for the word FINE is written all over you.