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If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
I DON`T UNDERSTAND IT! WHY THE F*CK WOULD SOMEBODY BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON - Never mind, I found it.
Weekends are like a orgasm.. It`s takes a lot to get there and when u finally do it`s over in no time
If history repeats itself, I´m totally getting a dinosaur.
Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
I`d like to apologize for getting drunk and making an ass of myself at your Christmas party next week...
If your friends don`t make fun of you, they`re not really your friends.
I just ate Pasta and Anti-Pasta, but they annihilated each other, now I am hungry again.......
I wish I could google "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed. ;)
Some people think I`m quiet, others wish I was.
As a nation, we may be spending our children`s money, but at my house, it`s the other way around.
I`ve noticed that the squirrels are gathering nuts for the winter. Couple of my friends are missing...
I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup, and just took probably the biggest vowel movement ever
Some people you know was dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall and fell out the window.
Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?