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some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
My favorite flavor of ice cream is yes.
People saying "Laugh my a$$ off" and still having an a$$ next time I see them is the reason I have trust issues.
My son got one of those `Stop Bullying` wristbands. he took it away from a fat little ginger kid.
It`s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
MIDDLE EAST: How can we stop ISIS? EUROPE: How can we save our economy? AMERICA: What color is this dress?!
My neighbor`s facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Walmart
Adding "and sh!t" at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.
Based on the number of smoke breaks they take, I’m pretty sure the only reason my co-workers have a job is to pay for their cigarettes.
Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.
They say you can tell how someone has sex by how they dance…. So ladies be prepared for a lot of counting and clapping.
I don’t think my inner child is ever moving out.
I test drove a car last month. Apparently, you`re not supposed to keep the car for a month. At least that what this cop is telling me.
I hope daylight savings time hasn`t thrown you off your schedule of doing nothing.