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You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
I told you I was trouble. You should have listened to me instead of staring at my boobs.
Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime.
why are the foods you want eat late at night in loud crackling wrappers?
I was looking all over for my ambition today......well, It wasn`t under this 12 pack, so I`ll look tomorrow.
Thanksgiving advice: Sit at the kids table for as many years as possible.
I`m afraid if I start working out, I`ll be too sexy
The downside of dating intelligent women is having to Google what they call you when it ends badly
For over 20 years, I thought Bon Jovi gave love a Band-Aid
Cubs fans, you need to wait 107 more years. But don`t worry, 2124 will be here before you know it!
Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, sexual preference, is completely acceptable
I was enjoying our conversation. Until you started talking....
My favorite part of seeing someone I know in public is pretending I didn’t.