Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
Spilling a full beer you paid for is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.
I found $80 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy Nerf guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, Nerf guns and candy".
She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines.
" I don`t watch much tv" proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
Don’t underestimate my ability to be hungry.
I`m going to start looking for the good in all people I meet this year. Except for the a$$holes.
Head & Shoulders needs to come out with a body spray that will help repel flakey people from my life.
Male or female, no one f*cks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
I need to start setting an alarm to go to bed.
A real friend is someone who knows how damn crazy you are... But is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
There’s a guy whose whole job is to find new places to hide the “close this ad” button.
most teens are switching to twitter instead of facebook. noone wants to get on facebook and catch dad pocking mom... if you kno what I mean;)