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According to my nipples, summer is over
By 5, the human child can walk and feed itself, but doesn`t yet stray from home, as it relies on parents for tablet charging and maintenance
I like Tuesday, it rhymes with Boozeday...
Sorry I can’t make it to your party tonight. I have to get up really early tomorrow afternoon.
Congrats on winning an argument with your woman...... Your prize is a night on the couch.
Nothing like a brisk morning jog to start the day! Just kidding! I don`t do that.
I hate it when my kid starts crying in the middle of the night and I have to get up to close the bedroom door.
I like wearing glasses because I like to dramatically remove them before I say something profound. Doing that with contacts doesn`t have the same effect.
Wind chimes? I can`t see myself saying, its too quiet, you know what`d be nice? Noise.
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
I`m going to invent a cleaning product that kills .1% of all germs and bacteria. It doesn`t sound very effective, but I`m going to get it placed right next to all the other cleaning products that kill 99.9% of all germs and bacteria.
insert coin to view my status
Calories? I think you mean delicious points!