Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sadly no matter how hard you try, you can`t mail a fart. Too bad though, because this would actually make paying Bills a lot more fun.
Detective: “The victim musta had company. There’s 2 dirty plates in the sink.” If I ever get murdered they’ll think I had 16 people over.
Ahhhh, bad credit…the best identity theft protection.
I prefer to be crazy and happy rather than normal and bitter......
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
I put my phone on Airplane Mode and now I can`t find it...
How to tell if your wife is mad at you - Step 1. She is
Singing in the shower is illegal according to this Ikea security guard.
Basically the whole point of Facebook is so you can see if you’re prettier than your ex’s new girlfriend.
Warning: forgetting what pocket your keys are in may result in the Macarena.
I just changed my WiFi password to "blowmefirst." I can`t wait for someone to ask me for it!
Being alive is so expensive.
I’m just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
I always drink responsibility I make sure that someone is responsible for buying me drinks.
Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you`ve done with the place.