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Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn`t think.
If electricity comes from electrons… does that mean that morality comes from morons?
"Friendzoned" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
I just decorated my bedroom to look like my desk at work so I can fall sleep faster.
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
I didn’t scream out someone else’s name during sex. I was thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant…
I legitimately thought I was having a pretty productive day until I realized my phone is set to west coast time and I`m in New York.
Always look both ways before crossing a woman.
Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it`s important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren`t happy.
When I was young I was scared of the dark. Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights.
I don`t call it lying down, I call it landscape mode.
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.