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If it weren`t for WebMD I would have never known what symptoms to mimic so I could get all these prescriptions from my doctor.
Who´s up for Candyland? $20 buy in
Still waiting for a Discovery Channel "How It`s Made" episode on babies.
It`s so hard to find obedient minions
Life is not a garden so quit being a hoe
If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.
I really don`t need to be loved.. I would settle for being tolerated. :)
Thank you Pringles for being the only chip company that doesn`t sell air.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in
If only I did everything with the same precision in which I craft my sandwiches.
Dear piece of paper that wont go in the dust pan ... f*ck you!
Went to a nudest camp once and all I could think was.. these are the people you see dressed in Wal-Mart that you don`t want to see naked.
My beard itches, Web MD: Beard cancer
A cop just pulled me over and said papers - so I said scissors, I win and drove off.
None of us have it as bad as the porcupine giving birth to another porcupine.