Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Famous people could rob banks wearing masks of themselves and they`d never get caught.
I used to have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lived 150 miles away
I’m an only child, and I’m still not the favorite.
Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don`t even like.
If I say “it’s a great day to be alive,” it’s because those are literally my only plans.
What if the stickers are the only thing Made In China?
Liquid sanity: I call it alcohol..!!
I`m giving up procrastination for Lent ... starting tomorrow.
Kim and Kanye have been married WAY longer then I expected.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.
The secret to dancing is pretending you have a wedgie and you’re trying to get it unstuck without using you’re hands.
My wife told me I have to quit playing poker all the time but I think she`s bluffing...
If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you. Knees to Chest, bitch, KNEES TO CHEST!!
Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.
If you get pulled over, ignore the cop and tell him that your mommy told you not to talk to strangers.