Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not saying I`m lazy, but someone wrote "wash me" on my car so I just wrote back "nah"
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. Iām flattered.
Maybe it`s the washer and not the dryer that steals the socks.
I don`t know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms...
I want to be something scary for Halloween so I am going as a positive pregnancy test......
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
After the doctor left the exam room from my prostate exam. The nurse came in with three words I didn`t want to hear. "Who was that?"
Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices
Facebook posts with 12 hashtags, who the f*ck are you trying to reach?
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
You know it`s a classy establishment when they quietly ask you to leave.
Check this one out.........1
I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.
I was driving thru Farmville and I had to pee ... so I pulled over and fertilized your crops