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I can`t wait for the day when my kids are old enough that I can drink with them and not because of them.
ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.
When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren`t my kids but he`d never fire a Mom of seven, right?
I just wanted you all to know that I’m leaving Facebook. This ride has been a blast and I’ve made a ton of friends who I really do consider friends in the truest sense. Your humor and wit is amazing. I’ll miss all of you, but I’ve decided I need to spend more time with my family. So... see you after breakfast
Ever wonder if the McDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
Unless your kid’s fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it.
My wife was out of town, so I had to run the morning routine by myself today. I learned a lot. For example, apparently I have two kids.
I was like "No, Pepsi is NOT ok. I wanted a Coke." And she was all "Sir, 911 should only be dialed for real emergencies."
I think "Don`t Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
I really don`t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. I black out every Friday....
It`s a good thing the gas station is open today...... I still have time to do my Christmas shopping.
How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.