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I just got gas for $1.79... Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
Who do Walmart shoppers make fun of?
If a bra is called an `over the shoulder bolder holder`, then what would you call men underwear? Under the butt nut hut
Picked up a hitchhiker last night. He said thanks how do you know I’m not a serial killer? I replied the chances of two serial killer’s being in the same car are astronomical.
Walmart: the only place on Earth you can get a haircut, eye exam, ice cream sandwich, tires for your car, and witness a real life "what not to wear" episode.
Every fork at your favorite restaurant has been in 100`s of strangers` mouths
You think you`re pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower.
I`m sorry if I come across as crude, outspoken, and opinionated. That`s only because I am crude, outspoken, and opinionated.
Condoms prevent minivans.
Even if you don`t pay, they`ll usually let you go through a car wash at least once a day without a car.
Don’t bother looking up “impose.” It’s next to impossible.
Mister Rogers didn’t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
Just hired two Private Investigators to follow each other. I`ll keep you posted......
Yawning is the body`s way of saying `10% Battery Remaining`.
I`m pretty sober, but I`m prettier drunk.