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if there wasn´t a last minute I´d never get anything done.
There is a method to my madness....and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable.....
Instead of exes, they should be called whys.
All the advantages right-handed people have are cancelled out when we have to do our banking at the drive-up ATM left-handed.
That awkward moment when you’re yelling at someone and you mess up a word.
When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn`t doing the same thing.
There is a method to my madness….and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable
I know two wrongs don`t make a right, obviously. But how many does it take? I`m like on 756.
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza.
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Im so lazy today, I am going to watch fast and furious in slow motion.
Yeah, I was gonna do that, but summer.
Dear autocorrect: at no point have I ever meant “ducking.”
I`m smiling, that alone should scare you.
Forget Klondike, you should see what I`d do for an open bar.