Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Not to brag, but I`m pretty good in bed. I don`t snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
A walk of shame is always sad. Don`t make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
Who knew rock bottom was so crowded?
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
You know you`re getting old when one huge fart throws out your back.
The only thing worse than "the one that got away" is the one that won`t go away.
My dog reminds me of my ex. She doesn`t pull her weight financially and she`s scared of the vacuum.
I think eating is my kind of sport.
The success of a marriage hinges entirely on the ability to know which of your wife’s clothing is okay to go into the dryer.
The problem with today`s children is that today`s parents are idiots.
Thought I was having deja-vu. But it turns out, I do the exact same things every day.
I`m 50% sure this cross eyed guy is starring at my tits.
Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?
Why is it Donald Duck never wore pants but always had a towel wrapped around his waist when he got out of the shower?