Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I haven`t slept for three days, because that would be too long
My wife gives me the speaking treatment.
The baby spit up on my Xbox so I had to get rid of it ... I`m gonna miss that baby...
I try to live every day as though it were my last, and who wants to do laundry on the last day they’re alive?
Live life to its fullest even if that means eating everything in the fridge
I lost a very close friend and drinking partner last week. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.
Whenever someone says, "Have a good one." I always respond with, "I have a good one, I just wish it were longer."
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone’s ok with that.
I`m Not Single. I am romantically challenged
I hate when I oversleep at work and get home late.
A lot of times I wonder if people think my girlfriend is only with me for my money.....but I am always reassured by the fact that I don`t have any money..........or a girlfriend....
I know u r but what am I ?
"Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think "look at all these poor people who don`t know Netflix exists."