Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
is a mystery you´ll never solve
I really thought 2015 had potential to be “my year” but we’re 2 months in and that ship has sailed so I’ll try again for 2016.
In an alternate universe somewhere, all the ducks are making white girl faces.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I`m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
My shrink says if I take these pills I won`t see you guys anymore.
Mary had a little lamb,,the midwife fainted
Word for today: Dipshidiot
You know why it`s called almond milk? Cuz you can`t say nut juice with a straight face
Alcohol may not be able to give you a loving hug when you need it but the Liquor Mart employee`s you`re buying it off of sure can.
Only YOU, can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.
Happy Birthday to all those ladies that their men forgot about because it falls on Super Bowl Sunday this year.
Sexual education classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours straight while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can’t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(:
Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?