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Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
Why do people with really bad breath always want to tell you secrets?
I’ve never considered myself much of a conspiracy theorist. Then I discovered the letters in Frito Lay could be rearranged to spell Oily Fart- Coincidence?… I think not!!!
That weird moment when u just say "what`s up " to someone and they thing you`re a shrink.
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
When I`m bored I like to dress in a grim reaper costume and stand across the street from the nursing home and wave at the old folks.
It`s scientifically proven the more you shut up then the less likely I am to punch you in the face.
I’d drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk.
Some parts of the world use Facebook to overthrow evil dictators. Me? I just want you all to know how delicious my sandwich is.
Never buy crystal meth from a guy with a full set of teeth. He`s obviously an undercover cop.
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360
LSD makes users lose weight ... That makes sense. It`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.