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Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
Three decades of playing Tetris have apparently not improved our nation`s ability to stow overhead luggage.
“Do you have a charger?” is the new “Could I bum a cigarette?”
Does anyone have the owner’s manual for a wife? Mine’s emitting a terrible whining noise.
I take a large amount of pride in always being prepared for a nap.
If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
Your personality needs alcohol.
Just googled "who gives a sh!t?" My name wasn`t in the search results.
My favorite flavor of ice cream is yes.
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble people, respect it!
Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber were both answers on Jeopardy tonight. The end is near........
I think my credit card looks weird. Could you send me a picture of yours so I can compare?
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs.
Happy Fathers Day from your handsomerist and smarterist son
Nice try blocked number, but I don`t even answer my phone when I know who`s calling.