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I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
I love work; it fascinates me. I can sit and watch folks do it for hours.
Welcome to Alzheimer`s Club. I see a lot of new faces today.
Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
I wish pillsbury would think of another way to open biscuits without giving you a heart attack ;)
My husband told me that he would leave me if I didn`t give up all my bad habbits.....I nearly choked on my toe nail!
"It gotten SOOO cold in D.C., politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets!"
It really pisses me off when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
I’d slap you but I’m pretty sure they would call it animal cruelty.
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34D.
I`m sorry. Putting up with your sh!t isn`t on my To-Do list today.
Some people are flirting with my delete & block button
My wife can suffer in silence louder than anyone I know.