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Somewhere someone`s therapist knows you.
I`ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn`t just put the dots in the shape of the actual letters.
Lil Wayne is 10% African-American and 90% tattoo.
Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
I started seeing this girl recently. She sometimes texts. Sometimes Whatsapps. Sometimes she emails. Sometimes she Facebooks. Im getting mixed messages.
I’m considering becoming a mind reader ... What are your thoughts?
There are people in life you could NEVER get tired of hitting with a shovel!!!
The closest I`ve come to being an athlete is using Adobe Acrobat.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. It was way too literal for me.
Just stepped on the scale. Now I have to replace a broken window and add $467 to the curse word jar.
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back
I have no idea how I use to get around in the dark before I had a cell phone.
I know 3 facts about you: 1.You can’t say ‘M’ without your lips touching. 2.You’re trying it now looking like an idiot. 3. Now you’re smiling
If I had a time machine, I`d just keep going back every 8-9 hours so I could sleep more.