Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
If you think your having a bad day ... You could be digging your own grave at gun point and find buried treasure.
A poem about me: I hate mornings. I wish I was drunk. The End.
If you’re a size 0 we shouldn’t be able to see you.
Mom: If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too? Me: If all parents used that same metaphor would you use it too?
If at first you don`t succeed, find out where she lives.
If you give up smoking, drinking, and sex, you don’t live longer, just seems longer.
I think they put less beers in twelve packs these days.
Pretty sure airport food was priced by children just learning about numbers. "Ok Brian, how much should this apple cost?" SIXTY TWO DOLLARS!!
Relationship status: Just kissed my cat and he got up and moved to the other end of the couch.
I keep seeing all these commercial on TV about working out and getting "ripped" in 90 days.. Give me a bottle of Jack Daniels and I`ll get ripped in 15 minutes
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.