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I wanna see Mythbusters do the bible.
This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it`s contagious.
In wine there is wisdom. In beer there is strength. In water there is bacteria. You decide.
If you don`t boo at people after bad sex, how do you expect to motivate them to get better?
You have got to have worse hand-eye coordination than a lama on crack
I`m always on the verge of running three miles, or drinking a bottle of Vodka
That awkward moment when you tell your parents something funny, but it turns into a life lesson.
I carry a yoga mat, but it`s only because I get sleepy after lunch
You know it`s time to delete Facebook when your mom, dad, uncles, aunties, grandparents etc... is on it.
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.
We`ll be friends `til we`re old and senile ... Then we`ll be new friends.
Women.Some men undermine, disrespect and consider them weak,forgeting the countless spanks they got from their mothers
You know that greener grass you see over there? You do realize it`s because they fertilize it with bullsh!t right?
Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep.
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.