Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m single by choice. Not my choice, but still a choice!
The other day someone told me I could make ice cubes out of leftover wine. I was confused... What is leftover wine?
It`s a little disappointing when you`re watching a school basket ball game & no one turns into a werewolf.
I have never been guilty of taking the smaller pizza slice.
In hell you`re always trying to spread butter that`s too cold.
Three words to ruin a woman`s ego. "I can`t tell."
my boss told me to start the presentation with a joke,so I showed my payslip.
You know you`re old when you come close to shaving your nipple off while trying to shave your legs!
I was just thinking…Then I thought “why?”... So there will be no more thinking today.
I give great marriage advice if you want to be divorced.
I dont care how you live your life, so just let me live mine. Yeah whatever.
No man has ever won a game of `notice anything different about me?`
If it wasn`t for claustrophobia, lack of intelligence, and my intense fear of floating poop, I would`ve made a great astronaut.
Everyone wants their kid to learn to walk until exactly 30 seconds after their kid learns to walk.
Of course I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.