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I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute.
I like how adding a little OJ to a glass of champagne says “I’m classy” instead of “It’s nine in the morning and I have a drinking problem.”
I am not bossy, I just know how to do things the right way.
I’m tired of things costing money.
I`m a beer enthusiast. The more beer I drink, the more enthusiastic I become.
Learned today that it`s about 12 min after realizing there`s no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are.
You look in good shape!!! Round is a shape isn`t it???
This fly in my car is going to be very disappointed when it ends up at Walmart.
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
I`d care more about your feelings if they came with a toy and chicken nuggets.
If we sneezed Windex instead of spit I bet my neighbors would be cool with me standing at their window.
This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.
I like dressing in a red polo shirt then going to Target & being rude to costumers
The problem with coffee is trying to make it when you haven`t had any yet.
My boyfriend isn`t allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window.