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HR called me in today and told me I have a bad attitude. So they`re transferring me over to IT and giving me a raise.
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Is snaxting a thing? Texting each other pics of your snacks? Cause I feel like Iād be pretty good at that.
HANGOVER!!!!! it`s God`s way of sayin "u kicked a$$ last night"
Calories: Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter each night.
Checked my bank balance at the ATM and was happy to see I had 707 dollars in it until I realized I was holding the receipt upside down and it said LOL instead.
The only F word out a woman`s mouth that scares me is "fine."
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we`re f*cked.
Every time I`m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
Some people`s lives are like open books... Mine is like a trashcan without a lid.
It bothers me when I see tax money wasted on signs telling deer where to cross the road.
Thinks that some of you make impulsive, poor thought out decisions. We should totally hang out more!!!
Sometimes I get a little sad and feel like being alone. But then I talk to my dog about it and he reminds me I`m Awesome. Then WE DANCE.