Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m really wanting to sit and watch a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
I know you people are crazy. I can spot my own kind a mile away.
Phrases I hope to avoid in my obituary: “skeletal remains,” “dumpster,” “almost beyond recognition,” “dental records” and “shallow grave.”
If your lawyer has a ponytail, you`re going to jail
I`ve been told that I can be condescending... that means that I tend to talk down to people.
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
The word bed looks like a bed.
Whenever I try cleaning my room I either end up making a bigger mess, or just playing with the stuff I thought I lost.
I`m convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.
I think I have 10 inches of Global Warming on my driveway.
I`m known all over the world for my exaggerations.
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...
This status update is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you would not have been notified.
Patiently waiting for the Prozac to kick in so I can start my day....Ok, Maybe NOT patiently!
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you