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Who is this "Moderation" they keep telling me to drink with?
Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she’s not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!
The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since I got up… goodnight!
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
Still waiting for the moment when there will be a "add to wishlist" button on people`s facebook profile !!
Day 1. I am thankful that I haven`t fallen into the trap of Facebook thankful status updates.
Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
That awkward moment when you tell your parents something funny, but it turns into a life lesson.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
I was pretty disappointed when my boss said we can`t do throw-back Thursday, or bring tequila shots to work
I try to always be the bigger person by hanging out with a lot of short people.
Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?
Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I`m not sure what it means.