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According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with `Go away.`
I did 26 situps this morning. It’s not a lot, but then again, how many times can someone snooze an alarm clock ?
WEB MD should have a simple answer like “Calm down-you probably just ate too many cookies!”
It’s not a great nap, unless you wake up and can’t remember what day it is.
You have got to have worse hand-eye coordination than a lama on crack
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
Don`t hide your feelings. Hide the evidence.
Do you realize that a woman`s "I`ll be ready in five minutes." and a guy`s " I`ll be home in five minutes." are exactly the same?
Me: There has to be a way I can lose weight! Friend: Eat healthy? Exercise? Me: No, that`s not it. Keep thinking! We`ll figure this out.
I hate it when people dont know the differece between Ur and U`r
If you loose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
You`re in your 20`s... you don`t have "haters"... you have "adults" that think you are "annoying"
"Iyam A. Wii Todd" <-- Bet you can say that name out loud, in a crowded place, and really fast!
The cop said it was an outstanding warrant, dad! And you said I`d never amount to anything...
You`re the reason why I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to go to work.