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People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
Call me an optimist, but I always viewed my cup as half full…of Vodka!!
I try to explain to my kids during the movie that in reality, even a cowardly lion would eat a girl and a little dog.
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
Why is it when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a deserted island?" , no one ever replies, "A BOAT"
“Should I add more liquor?” is the most ridiculous question I’ve ever been asked.
People who describe things as “better than sex” are having the wrong kind of sex.
If you lack motivation, get on treadmill naked in front of mirror.
We played a lot of "Keep The Balloon In The Air" as kids, a game known to most other people as being poor.
Listening to the voices in my head, I’ve concluded that they’re having more fun than me.
I`m sexy and I know it really is....... your slutty and you blow it.
Don`t you just want to write on some people`s Facebook wall "you peaked in High School".?
I don’t know who or what is doing it, but one day I will find the thing that continues to steal one sock and destroy it.
Why can`t things be simple like they use to be? I show you a bug I found, we share a snack pack, and then you`re my girlfriend.