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Honestly, I have no idea what the f*ck I`ll do with 5 hours of energy.
I wear a ski mask to bed so if there`s a home invasion, the intruder will think I`m part of the team.
Money may not buy you happiness, but it does buy you all the sh1t you want!
If we agree, I`m probably being sarcastic ... Or I`m drunk
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
There`s a word for people like you and that word is "leave."
The guy blaring the self help CD at the red light in the rusted car with no bumpers wasn`t amused when I said, "I don`t think it`s working"
Save water- shower with me!
Nice try, Henry Winkler, but I’m not inclined to take mortgage advice from a guy who lived above the Cunningham’s garage for like ten years.
I`m perfect you adjust.
My house is not a mess. It`s just that everything is on display for your viewing pleasure. Like a museum.
If anyone knows Phillip tell him I have a bunch of his screwdrivers.
I need a new bad decision.
In the word "scent" is it the s that is silent or the c?
I’m pretty sure I have atleast one anscestor who would be pretty pissed to find out that helicopters exist and I can’t fly one.