Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The best nicknames are the ones people don`t know they have.
What`s it called when you always have a sweet tooth, but it`s only for booze?
I wish more people were fluent in silence.
Oh my gosh! It`s a Hot Wheels car! Something you never want to hear during a prostate exam.
Once and for all, I agree to ALL "the terms and conditions" that have or will ever exist!
The real problem with this generation is that the cartoons suck.
Waiter: Would u like ur coffee black sir? Me: What other colors do u have?
The Great Wall of China has brought more foreigners than it has kept out.
It`s a shame that stupidity can`t be converted into a usable energy source.
Don’t you hate when the whole bus is empty, but some guy sits right next to you? I know you do. That’s why I do it.
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
Thinking about waking up early for a run. Mostly thinking about how I will not be doing that.
The hostess said to sit wherever I want, but the couple at this table are giving each other weird looks and have totally stopped talking.
I was only 6 numbers away from winning the powerball.
I hate people who take drugs......like the police.