Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Everytime I see “ROFL”… I think of Scooby Doo trying to say “waffle”.
I always advise people never to give advice.
Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I`m sexy!" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!
Lol at birds that walk places.
If at first you don`t succeed ... run them over
Alcohol goes in ... Happiness comes out.
I just decorated my bedroom to look like my desk at work so I can fall sleep faster.
I mean if men are better at math why do they get the lenght wrong all the time.
I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
I didn`t give you the finger...you earned it.
North Korea no!, really, go home! now you are really drunk!
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
If I`m not in bed by 11PM, then I go home.
Curious that it`s always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters.