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Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
You never really know someone until you break up with them. If they don’t go crazy and try to kill you than maybe you should give them a second chance.
It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
New College Admissions Test ______ not getting into this college: A. Your B. Ur C. You`re D. U`re
Does anyone else get scared when a text reads "Can I ask you a question?"
Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I’m starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??
One of my friends had a baby today, and another got a puppy. I think we all know which one I`m going to visit.
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
This beer is making me awesome !! ;)
Want someone to stop texting you? Sleep with them.
Guys, freedom of speech doesn`t mean you can spell things any way you want to.
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I`m healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to
I have finally conquered my annoying habit of repeatedly pressing the snooze button every morning by programming my alarm clock to play lullabies!
Do a little dance, make a little love, pay child support.