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How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
I`m in therapy to learn how to deal with people who should be in therapy
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
Marriage is for quitters
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
White girls be like: I`ll have one triple mocha dark chocolate ugg boot raspberry white iphone 5 double caramel infinity sign frappe please.
If you rearrange the letters of "postmen" they get really pissed off.
If listening to stupid people burned calories, I`d be a supermodel.
Think of a number between 0 and 20. Add 40 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 3. Now close your eyes.... It`s dark isn`t it.
We should not have trusted anything Charlotte wrote in her web. She was consistently talking out of her ass.
A court date is still technically a date, right?
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
The odds of winning the lottery are 1 in 10 million. The odds of being the fastest sperm are 1 in 300 million. You`d think that with those odds, you`d win the lottery 30 times in your life.
I used to think I was a man of vision. Now i`m pretty sure they`re hallucinations.
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.