Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If it`s true that opposites attract, I should be looking for someone that gets up early and does stuff
I’m giving up on the silent treatment. ...Going to start talking to myself again.
I have 500 friends and only 499 Birthday wishes on facebook! I`ll remember that when it`s YOUR birthday #405!!!
Pretty much the only time I want to hear about your ex is if she`s standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I`m good.
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
Kid, I can take you out the same way I brought you into this world, by making it look like an accident.
I ran into a dwarfs car this morning and he come up to me and said "I`m not happy!" And I said we`ll which one are you then
I enjoy short walks to the fridge
Why do people say ``I saw it with my own eyes." Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
I am as lazy as the guy who designed the Japanses Flag
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Bathroom: 47 pictures.
Have you ever thought about how weird it is that one of your hands is dumber than the other?
No officer I wasn’t texting, that’s dangerous. I was checking my email.
I’ve never been a millionaire, but I know I’d be excellent at it.
What`s the opposite of wanting to hear about you doing crossfit? I`m that.