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Violently swerving your car will not throw a spider off the window. Doesn`t work like it does with humans. Just in case you need to know.
My wife said she expects the house to be clean by the time she walks in the door so I changed all of the locks.
The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it`s because she`s a big dumb stinkyhead that`s jealous of my awesome Transformers collection.
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
Note to self: don’t set your password reminder as “you should know this”
Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
When I think of you I touch myself ... On my temples ... You give me a migraine.
I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
You are the reason why I bite the heads off teddy grams.
It`s so hot I have my air condition set on bankruptcy.
"You CAN even."- white girl life coach
Everything I like is expensive, illegal, or won’t text me back.