Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you live in a custom-built house that doesn’t have a secret room hidden behind a fake bookcase, then seriously what is the point?
Not to brag, but I`m pretty good in bed. I don`t snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.
Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
I put my phone on airplane mode, and it dragged me out of my seat.
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
It`s like my kids don`t even believe how cool I was in the 80s.
The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have.
Helpful tip #12: Never buy all the tools you need to kidnap, kill and bury someone from just one store.
How do we know that all the ancient Greek sculptures aren`t just victims of Medusa?
The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds
Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I`m wide awake. Not sure who won.
Don`t Follow Me, I`m Lost Too
Adding "and sh!t" at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.
Life is like a burrito. If you fill it with too many things it falls apart and then you cry and they kick you out of Chipotle.