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I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
You only live once.......Unless someone has a defribrilator
PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
Forget drugs and sex. Parents please talk to your kids about their grammar and spelling.
To-Do List: Nothing [?]
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called “Identity Theft”.
Shout out to good looking women who date unattractive men who aren`t rich, thanks for keeping hope alive.
I just burned 1200 calories.I forgot the pizza in the oven.
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
What sucks about those little hotel shampoo bottles is there`s no room for the directions so you kind of have to wing it.
I`ve seen bride magazines but have yet to see "Eager Groom" magazines.
The Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. It`s about two women trying to kill each other over shoes.
Now that cell phones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again...
Let this be known as my Living Will. I do not wish to be cremated. If the Zombie Apocalypse happens I would like to be a part of it.
You ever notice “q”, “p”, “b” and “d” is the same letter but with a different angle.