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Since you were smiling when you tazed me, I`m guessing we still have a chance.
Did you ever notice that the doctor’s bill is always a lot more readable than the doctor’s prescription?
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
It`s a beautiful day, think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
I hate it when the movie trailer is better than the movie itself.
Video games don`t encourage violence nearly as much as piñatas do.
Sometimes not being in control is the most awesome feeling in the world.
I wonder what Facebook employees do at work to waste time.
The hardest part about being an adult is trying to hide how you`re still a child.
Whenever I watch the TV show Friends, I imagine I`m the seventh friend, Dirk, who just stays home while all his friends do stuff without him.
The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
My Wife says I talk while I sleep..........but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it
I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like "Ugh, tourists".
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was big white bear with no sexual preference.