Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"You`ve got a friend in me." - Cannibals, probably
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
"She really does suck!" could be a complement in the porn industry
Every once in a while I check up on people I hate to make sure I still hate them… I do.
A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
I think a good gauge of my personality is that I watch Homeland to relax.
The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself"...and spiders. Oh, and ticks and nuclear war and getting laid off and losing your eye sight and...
My wife is a perfectionist but she made an exception in my case.
News flash, ladies. Men are settling for you, too.
It’s what’s on the inside that counts, unless you’re talking about one of those hollow chocolate bunnies.
Leftover bacon? Lol that’s up there with unicorns, leprechauns, and soulmates.
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head...
I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let’s not rush into things.
"I went to Jared" I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.